


you bring my heart to its knees

by Vallern



Series: dance of fate [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Light Angst, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8357470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vallern/pseuds/Vallern
Summary: Kara talks to Lena about Cat.
Sequel of tear down your walls and its companion piece, your beauty cascaded on me.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Jura for inspiring me with her car problems lol
> 
> Title is from Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptica.

Kara is flying home after stopping a few robberies; two bank robberies and three run-of-the-mill purse snatching robberies. She also thwarted a kidnapping. All in all, it's a good day for the young hero.

That is, until she heard a familiar voice somewhere below her.

_"This is the second time this month, Jasper! I swear it feels like you're doing it on purpose!"_

_"O-of course not, Ms. Luthor!"_

_"Then why the hell my car breaks down after just three days out of garage?! What kind of garage did you bring it in?!"_

Kara tunes out the man's answer to slow down her flying and think about the situation.

Lena is down there, having a car problem. Should she help? Would it be too obvious that she favors the other woman more than she should? What will people say if they see Supergirl saving Lena Luthor from a non-life threatening incident? She passed a lot of people with their car breaking down before since it wasn't life threatening and usually there are crimes to be stopped anyway; why she couldn't pass this one? Alex and J'onn will be mad if she is seen as Lena Luthor's personal bodyguard/superhero/AAA, right?

Hundreds of questions are buzzing in her mind, but Kara makes up her mind when she hears frustration colors Lena's voice, even from afar.

She flies down and lands soundlessly behind Lena. Jasper's jaw drops down and his eyes pops out, which makes Lena stops in the middle of her rant.

"What?! Spit it out, Jasper!"

He doesn't say anything and just points to Lena's direction, his expression changes into a dazed and dreamy look that Kara often sees in a lot of her, well, _fans_. (It's weird to have fans, she's not a celebrity or anything...)

"What the he—" Lena turns towards her, eyebrows furrows in annoyance and her lips is thinning in displeasure, but it's all gone when she lands her eyes on Kara's 'patented' Supergirl pose. "Well, well, well. Isn't this a nice surprise?" Lena smiles at Kara, which makes her heart jumps a bit.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Luthor."

"Afternoon, Supergirl. As you can see, my afternoon isn't looking so good right now," she gestures to the car and Kara sighs inwardly when she sees people are already starts to film them, including Jasper. Darn millennials and their phones.

Good God, she sounds like Cat.

Kara suppresses an ache at the thought of her bo... _former_ boss, and focuses on the woman in front of her. "I can see that. What's wrong with your car?"

"Damn if I know. It just breaks down all of a sudden," Lena frowns and Kara is taken aback by how badly she wants to smooth the crease away from between the other woman's eyebrows.

"Do you, ah, need any help?"

Lena raises one of her eyebrows. "While I'd like to, I'm sure you're busy with, well, being Supergirl," she waves at Kara's direction.

"I already did my good deeds of the day, Ms. Luthor."

"Hmm," she taps her finger on her chin. "What do you want to do, anyway? Lifts my car to the garage?"

Kara tries not to blush. "I mean to fly you home and let AAA tows your car."

"Oh."

Kara feels like the deer in the headlight under Lena's gaze, and she's strangely self-conscious of being filmed by spectators around them. Her sharp ears pick up whispers of _'did Supergirl just offers to take Lena Luthor home?'_

Shoot. She shouldn't have done that. Not in public, anyway.

Kara opens her mouth to retract her offer, but is beaten by the sight of Lena's lips curves into a smirk that gives the Kryptonian butterflies in her stomach. "I think I'll take your offer for that, Supergirl. It would be nice to fly without being half-deaf from explosion for once."

Kara laughs nervously and she discretely wipes off the sweat on her palms.

Lena turns around to Jasper. "Go call AAA and have them tow my car, but if it breaks down again..." she trails off, her eyes hard.

Jasper stops filming them and gulps. "Yes, Ms. Luthor."

She turns back to Kara. "Now then, shall we?"

Kara nearly drops Lena after she accidentally touches her backside, but she shoots up to the sky with flashes of lights following them.

 

* * *

 

"I have to say, I don't expect to be flying so soon again," Lena muses and squints up to Kara.

"I don't expect to be flying you again so soon either," Kara says bashfully. The sunlight is warm on her back, the breeze is playing with her cape, and there's a beautiful woman in her arms after a long day fighting crime. A good day indeed.

"You know you can just pick my car with me inside it and fly it to my penthouse, right? Less scandalous that way."

Kara blinks. Hard. "Oh."

Darn it, why she didn't think of that? After all, she did the same with Cat once when the Queen of All Media wanted an interview back then.

The last part of Lena's comment just catches on her. "Wait, scandalous?"

Lena shrugs as best as she can while encircling her arms around Kara's neck. "You literally just asked to take me home in front of God knows how many people, Kara. People with smartphones and internet access. It wouldn't surprise me if they make things up about us already."

The young blonde pales. Scandal with Lena Luthor is definitely the last thing she needs right now; not with the growing threat of Cadmus and the other Kryptonian in the pod at the DEO.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done that!" _Stupid, stupid, stupid! Too distracted by her to think logically! Damn it, Danvers!_

"No need to be sorry, Kara. If anything, I should be the one that apologize. I could've suggested it before you fly me, but I didn't."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to fly me home."

Kara is sure the heat on her face is hotter than the sun right now.

"Th-that's..."

"Was I too direct?"

"N-no," Kara coughs. "You just caught me off guard, that's all."

"I'm glad I can do that to the mighty Supergirl."

"I'm not."

"You're not what?"

"Mighty, I mean. I'm just lucky I get my powers from this planet's sun. Back in Krypton..." she swallows, her chest hurts by the mere mention of her dead homeworld. "Back in Krypton, we lived just like ordinary humans, if much more technologically advanced." Her eyes water a bit.

Lena hums. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Kara blinks her tears away and smiles down at her. "I don't mind. I think it's good to share a piece of my history, to make sure it's not forgotten."

"Thank you for trusting me with that."

"Of course. I trust you, Lena."

It feels good admitting that. She loves being a hero, she really does, but sometimes all the secrecy makes her want to scream. It can be really lonely for her because of the masquerade. Yes, she has her friends and family that knows who she is, but it's tiring to keep up her facade, one that she's not sure even working anymore after what Lena said.

And she's _dying_ to talk about Krypton, to make sure their history is preserved. While she has Alex and Astra and Clark to talk about Krypton, Clark doesn't really get it since he never lived and experienced the life there, and Astra doesn't like to be reminded of Krypton. Alex surprisingly is the closest thing she has to... vent, for the lack of a better word, about Krypton. She would ask a lot of questions, but she never probes too deep if she senses Kara doesn't want to talk about it.

She's lucky to have Alex in her life; a sister she never wanted at first but needed in the end.

Now she hopes she could talk about Krypton with Lena, since...

_Since Cat is gone,_ her mind helpfully supplies.

It's been a week, but Cat's absence leaves a big hole in her life. She _misses_ her mentor so much; she still needs Cat's advice to go on. But she knows she can't get in Cat's way to improve herself, no matter how much she wanted to say _'please don't leave, please don't leave me'_ when Cat told her she's leaving CatCo.

She was tempted to just blurt out her other identity, but when Cat hugged her, it was like her mind went blank and she forgot about everything she wanted to say to the other woman.

Now it feels like that she missed her chance. She knows it's not forever and Cat will be back someday, hell she can visit Cat if she wants to, but the moment have passed and they're back at the, frankly, ridiculous dance of 'I know you know who I am but I will pretend you don't know who I am' with distance as a bonus.

A squeeze around her neck brings her back from her reverie. Kara looks down to see Lena staring at her with unidentified emotions in her eyes.

"What are you thinking, Supergirl?"

"A lot of things," she sighs while blowing her hair off from her eyes. "Sometimes, it's too much to take, you know?"

"I don't, actually, since I don't risk myself protecting people every day on top of other things you have going on for you right now, but remember to _breathe_ , Kara. Super or not, you still have limits, both physically and mentally," Lena gives Kara a half smile. "So take it one at a time, okay? You can't do everything straight away; there's a time for everything."

_Not all at once and not right away._

It feels like someone just strikes her on the chest. She takes a deep breath and Lena looks at her with concern.

"That's a good advice, Lena," she smiles shakily.

"I know," she blinks. "Really, Kara, are you okay? It feels like you're not really here with me today."

"I..." she sighs.”I don't know."

They're quiet for a while with only the wind as the background sound around them.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Huh?"

"About whatever is it that bothering you. There's a pretty good chance I can't help anyway, but sometimes it'll make you feel better to just let it out off your chest. That is, if you want to. I won't force you to talk."

Kara is silent. The offer is tempting, and she does hope she can talk to Lena about Krypton.

(And everything else.)

"Alright."

 

* * *

 

They land on the balcony. Kara already misses Lena's warmth when she gets down from her arms.

"Do you want to sit here or inside?"

"Here, I think. I'm a bit tired."

"And what does it have to do with—" Lena cuts herself off. "Right, you're solar powered. Want to do some recharging, eh, Supergirl?"

Kara chuckles. "You got it."

"Sit down," she gestures to the outdoor chairs beside them. "Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?"

Kara sits down. "Just water and yes."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Ah, don't worry, Lena. I can eat later."

"Nonsense, Kara. What kind of host I am if I let my guests starve? Sit down and I'll order something for us."

"Lena, I need, like, 10,000 calories a day. I don't want to impose..."

"You're not, and it's the least I could do after you flying me home," she shrugs. "How does pizza sound?"

"It sounds heavenly to my ears."

Lena snorts. "Pizza, then. Wait here."

So she waits and lets her eyes lingers for a brief second to Lena's bottoms before she averts it in embarrassment. _By Rao, Danvers, stop ogling the woman every time you see her!_

She listens to Lena barking out orders to her assistant on the phone ("One small cheese pizza and two, no, make it three large meat lover pizzas. Also, two orders of beef bruschetta." A beat. "Don't ask me why, Thomas, just do it!") and giggling a little. At least Lena has a good taste in pizza, unlike Alex who likes _pineapples_ on her pizza. What a heresy.

Kara closes her eyes and leans back on her chair. She listens to Lena removing her heels and the pitter-patter of her steps around the kitchen. The other woman is opening her fridge and mutters something in a language she doesn't know. She takes two bottles of water and closes her fridge.

The superhero opens her eyes right before Lena comes back to the balcony. She smiles at Lena, who looks at her softly, and takes a bottle of water from Lena's hand.

Kara twists the bottle cap open and drinks it. Today is quite hot and she's too thirsty to think about manners, oblivious to the way Lena stares at her neck and throat.

"Thirsty, Kara?" Lena's voice is lower than usual and it makes Kara pause her drinking.

"Parched. Thanks, though," she smiles while wiping her mouth.

"No problem."

Lena sits in front of Kara and for a moment she can't see the other woman's face with the sun behind her, but soon her eyes adjusts and she can see Lena's beautiful green eyes bores into hers.

They're staring at each other and she swears Lena's eyes flashes golden for a second before it turns back to green again.

... Maybe she's more tired than she thought.

Lena leans back on her chair, mirroring Kara. It's clear that she waits for her to talk, but Kara doesn't feel pressured because of it. They're just sitting in silence, with sunlight shining gently on them.

"I..." Where should she start? Should she even be telling Lena, a civilian, about Cadmus? How about the Kryptonian in the pod?

The CEO waits patiently, her fingers tapping an unknown rhythm on her thigh.

"I miss Cat."

The words just tumbles from her mouth without any prompt and she nearly slaps herself. Of all the problems, why Cat? She's not even sure if it's appropriate to talk about Cat to Lena, someone that she has an, unique, she supposes, relationship with.

Lena straightens in her seat and stops tapping her fingers. Kara instantly misses it.

"You do?"

"Of course. She's my mentor and my boss for the last three years. She's also..." Kara trails off. "She's also my friend."

"I didn't know you two were so close, Kara."

"I didn't expect it too, at first. Like you said, she was difficult," Kara snorts. "It was an understatement. The first six months were grueling, and it comes from someone who kicked aliens' asses nearly every week. That's how tough it was," she laughs. "But when she finally stopped throwing every lattes that I brought her to trash and I finally know where to get her favorite veggie wrap, it stopped being so hard and it became challenging. I enjoyed it."

"I see. It's understandable if you missed her that much, since you two obviously were close." There's something strange when Lena said the word 'close' but Kara couldn't put her finger on it. "Does she know?"

"I think so, yeah. I once tried to trick her with some help from my friend to make her think there were two of us, but my friend really sucked at acting like me, so I think she saw through it," she laughs at the memory of J'onn telling stories about him as Cat Grant's assistant. "And then the Red Kryptonite and Myriad happened." Her face darkens at the thought. Myriad was horrifying and sometimes she still dreams that she couldn't save James and Winn when they jumped. That her broadcast failed, that Astra didn't save Alex when they fought from Non's backstabbing attack, that everyone just simply died and there was _nothing_ she could do about it.

Lena leans forward and grabs Kara's hand. They intertwine their fingers and she strokes the back of Kara's hand with her thumb.

"I thought after Myriad I can do a lot of things that I couldn't before. But then more confusing thing happens and on top of that, one of the few constant things in my life left," she bites her lips, trying to be strong. "I guess she's not as constant as I thought," Kara finishes bitterly.

"Kara..."

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy that she wants to tread new water, so to speak," she purses her lips. "But the selfish part of me wants her to stay and to keep guiding me through everything. There are still a lot of things that I want to learn from her, that I _need_ to learn from her. I want to tell her everything and ends this stupid 'I know that you know that I know' facade that's still ongoing, even after she left," Kara rubs her eyes with her free hand. "I'm tired of hiding from one of the most important people in my life."

Lena is quiet and Kara closes her eyes, willing the tears to disappear. She misses Cat so much and talking about it to another person just makes her misses her mentor more and deepen the wound even further.

Without warning, Lena plops down on Kara's lap and hugs the young hero as hard as she can.

Kara cries silently on Lena's shoulder.

 

* * *

 

A few minutes later, Kara could hear a set of footsteps in front of Lena's door and reluctantly pulls herself from the hug.

"The food is here," she says while wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

Right after that, they hear a knock on the door. "Ms. Luthor, here are your food."

"Those super senses sure are great."

"It is, but sometimes it's a hassle. I've heard a lot of things that I don't ever want to hear," Kara wrinkles her nose. Her ears makes an impromptu visit to Alex's apartment is next to impossible; not if she doesn't want to be traumatized (even further) by the sound that her foster sister and her aunt makes.

"I can only imagine."

There's another knock outside the door. "Ms. Luthor?"

Kara blushes when she realizes how intimate their position is. Lena feels warm and soft on her lap, and her scent makes Kara wants to sniff her neck.

She's horrified by her own thought. _How could I think like that about someone who held me while I cried about another woman? Oh God, are those my tears and snot on her shoulder? Someone kill me!_

Lena makes no move to get off Kara's lap and she still has her hands clenching on Kara's cape. They're just staring at each other while the knocking slowly fades into the background.

She gently wipes the remains of tears on Kara's face with her thumb and kisses her forehead.

Kara freezes.

She's half-aware that Lena finally gets off her lap and goes to take the food. Her forehead feels like on fire and so does the rest of her face.

"Here you go, Supergirl."

Lena's voice snaps her back to reality and she couldn't help but to grin at the sight of pizza in front of her.

"Thanks, Lena. Um, by the way, I'm sorry I made your shirt wet," she smiles sheepishly.

"No need. Do go ahead and eat, I'm going to change my clothes."

Kara starts to open Lena's cheese pizza box and one of her own meat lover’s boxes, but she stops when she hears the sound of Lena opening and closing a door.

She quickly forces her ears to focus on other things when she hears Lena starts to unbutton her shirt.

_Bad Danvers, bad!_

She nibbles one of the bruschetta to distract herself from... dear God, is Lena taking off her bra right now?

...

Yes. Yes she does.

If Eliza and Alura were here, they probably will scold her for eavesdropping.

So she tries to listen to the sound of the city and ignores the rustles of the clothes in Lena's bedroom.

By the time Lena gets back, Kara feels like her head will explode from all the mental images of Lena in her bedroom.

"Sorry to make you wait, Kara."

"It's oka—" Kara stops talking when she sees Lena only wears a faded blue oversized T-shirt with the word 'METROPOLIS UNIVERSITY' on it that reaches her thighs and a hint of black shorts peeks from under her big shirt.

"I forgot today is my laundry day. This week is really hectic," she sighs and takes a seat in front of Kara. The blonde tries to not stare at the long, pale legs in front of her and she succeeds... mostly.

"I understand," she says while trying hard not to accidentally activate her X-ray vision.

Lena smiles inwardly when she sees the younger woman squint her eyes towards her chest. "This is Lex's shirt, actually. I don't even know I still have it."

"Oh, so that's why it's so big on you."

"Yeah. It's not from my ex or anything."

"I wasn't—" Kara blushes. "I wasn't trying to imply anything."

Lena chuckles. "Of course. Let's eat now, yes?"

"Y-yeah."

Kara tries not to inhale her pizza in front of Lena, but the older woman probably senses her hesitation, because she stops pouring ketchup on her pizza.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"Kara, feel free if you want to eat your pizza with super speed. As long as you don't make a mess, I don't mind."

She doesn't need to be told twice and Lena watches in half amazement and half horror that Kara eats three slices of pizza in three seconds.

"Amazing."

Kara looks up to Lena with half of her pizza dangling from her mouth. For a moment, she forgot that she's in front of Lena Luthor, who probably has actual table manners.

She blushes and Lena snorts. "Don't worry; it's not a backhanded compliment or anything. It's just fascinating to see. If I have your super speed, I could do so much more in one day..."

"Well, it does have its advantages."

"Do you think about how slow humans are, compared to you?"

"All the time!" She blurts out. "I have to slow myself down except for the select few who can match my speed."

"Select few, hmm? So Mr. Kent isn't the only one that can match your speed?"

"No, he's actually slower than me. Just a bit, though. But he's also a little stronger, maybe it's because he's older and more used to the sun."

"I see. Interesting."

"I have a friend from, well, another universe? I can't tell you his real name, but he calls himself The Flash—" she stops when she hears Lena's giggles. "What? What is it?"

"He sounds like an exhibitionist who likes to expose his junk to people nearby."

_The Flash? Sounds like someone whose only superpower is jumping out of an alley in a trenchcoat._

"I know, right?" Kara laughs hesitantly, trying to ignore the twinge in her chest. "Anyway, his superpower is _the_ super speed and he's faster than me. Don't tell him that, though, or he'll get an even bigger head."

"I won't," she says, her eyes dancing in amusement. "So the theory of multiverse is true?"

"Yeah. I mean, I still can't believe it and I'm from another planet."

"I wish my life is as interesting as yours, Kara. An alien and a friend from another universe? How fascinating is that?"

"I'm sure your life is interesting too, Lena."

Lena rolls her eyes. "If you want to call board meetings and trying to make a room full of old men to obey your demands interesting, sure."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

"See? My life is boring compared to yours. Hell, it can apply to everyone on Earth compared to yours."

"Maybe. I certainly don't feel that way."

"Oh, Kara. You're special, you know that?"

"Sometimes I wish I'm not."

Lena looks up towards Kara, who is squinting at the sun.

"Why? Most people would kill to have your life and your powers."

"Would they do the same if they have to experience the loss of entire planet first?"

Lena blinks at Kara's bitter tone. "Right. I'm such an idiot. Forgive me."

The Kryptonian shakes her head. "No need, I understand the sentiment behind it. But..." she sighs deeply. "Sometimes I wished I'm back at Krypton. I'd be in Science Guild and following my father's footsteps, or Art Guild, even if I can't stand those snobs most of the time. But at least I'd still be in Krypton, and not here."

"Do you..." Lena searches her words carefully. "Do you regret coming here?"

"Honestly? At first, yes. I was alone in a strange world and as nice as the Danvers were, they didn't really understand what it feels like. Clark couldn't really take care of me back then and my aunt was nowhere to be seen. Then the powers appeared, yet I had to hide it for years. Learning to control it was so hard; I can't remember how much property damage I've caused," she snorts. "Alex used to dislike me because I basically stole her parents. Eliza took care of me more than she took care of Alex and Jeremiah sometimes forget to go to Alex's soccer matches in favor of helping me. But now I'm glad we've moved past our differences."

"Good to know. How about now? Do you still regret it?"

Kara smiles slightly at Lena. "No. While I'm still sad, and I don't think it will ever go away completely, about my circumstances surrounding my arrival to Earth, I'm glad I'm here now. I've met a lot of amazing people. Alex, Jeremiah, Eliza, Winn, James, Cat," her smile widens at the mention of the last name. "You."

"Me?"

"Of course, Lena. I'm glad I met you. I only regret it wasn't more, well, peaceful. I wished I didn't march to your office and spoke like that to you. I also wished I didn't need to save you from your brother's assassination attempt, because you don't deserve to bear the brunt of his madness. You deserve better."

"You think too highly of me, Kara."

"I mean it, Lena."

Lena shoots Kara a wistful half smile. "Thank you. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you said that."

They smile at each other and eat their food in silence.

 

* * *

 

"Do you need to go somewhere else?"

"Huh?" Kara is sleepy after all the food. It was a great lunch. "No, since today is Saturday and I'm done Supergirl-ing for the day."

"Are you sleepy?"

"Kind of. I'm full, the sun is warm, and someone I trust is here. I know I can let my guard down." Kara's cheeks turn pink a bit after her confession, but she doesn't want to take it back. It's the truth, after all.

"I'm glad you feel that way towards me," she chuckles. "You can take a nap, if you want. I have to work for a bit, so I won't be a good company anyway."

"You're a great company, Lena," she yawns.

"Thank you. Do you want to sleep on the couch?"

"I'm fine here, thanks." Kara leans further to her chair while smiling sleepily at Lena.

"Alright then," she smiles back.

Kara closes her eyes and let Lena's steady heartbeat washes over her.

"Kara?"

"Hmm?" Kara doesn't even open her eyes to acknowledge Lena, too sleepy to even try.

"I'm not Cat Grant, so I probably can't tell you what to do or teach you things. But I can be there for you."

With that, Lena disappears to the inside of her penthouse.

Kara drifts off to sleep with Lena's words echoing in her mind.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feels from Cat's departure and I normally don't even ship SuperCat. But the hug killed me ;_;
> 
> It's hard not to make Kara and Cat likes each other at least a little. Mutual pining, maybe? Idk.


End file.
